Coupons
by damageddementia
Summary: For Shessy-Blaze. Adam finds something interesting while helping out an old friend.


**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera, or anything else mentioned that is recognizable.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**This is for the Super Special Awesome Spring Slash Lovers Prompt, for Shessy-Blaze, prompt number 69. Yes, that's why I chose it. No, it's not in here. Yes, I'm wondering why it's not.**

* * *

**Coupons**

Adam Copeland set down the last box with a sigh, leaning against the wall and taking a deep breath. Old school rock filtered through the small basement, dimly lit by a small bulb, so that he could still see the redhead in front of him. She laughed and said, "Is the great Number One Opportunist that worn out from one teensy tiny little box?"

"Remind me again why I agreed to help you," Adam asked. Amy Dumas laughed and walked over to him, putting her hand through his blond locks and shaking it.

"Because you love me," Amy winked, and she moved away. She started stacking the boxes more neatly as Adam opened the box he was carrying.

"What's in these, anyway?" Adam asked. He picked up the closest item to him; it was an album.

"Oh, just some junk I had to unclutter," Amy said, but then she noticed what Adam was holding. "What have you got there?" She walked over and pulled it out of his hands, smiling widely once she saw the cover. "God, my mother made this for me." She opened the book, the first page a picture of her in Mexico, honing her craft. "She said one day I'd want to show this to my children."

"You? A domestic?" Adam snorted, and Amy hit him.

"Shut up Copeland, like you're any closer to tying the knot." Amy flipped through the pages, different parts of her career popping up. There were articles, pictures of her with belts, and sometimes even a fan letter or two. There were pictures with everyone she worked with, from her days on the independent scene to her stint in the Rated R couple.

Adam looked at the picture, laughing at his grin. "She couldn't have chosen a better picture?"

"She said she was afraid to look. She didn't want to see my tats." Amy grabbed her boobs and jiggled them. "Flash a tata once and suddenly, you're the whore of Babylon."

"You sure it's not because you are a-" Amy glared at him, and he immediately put his hands up defensively. Even he found Amy Dumas frightening when she was in a mood. "Okay, forget I said anything. Sheesh." Adam went back to the box, looking inside. There were some posters, both of bands and wrestlers. He shoved those aside and found old clothes, merchandise, some souvenirs from the trips around the world, and many other things.

"You kept a lot of shit."

"What can I say, I'm a pack rat." Adam snickered and pulled out a picture of her and Matt Hardy, smiling cheesily. They were behind a cutout of a couple's body, but Amy put her head in the man's slot and Matt put his in the woman's slot. On the bottom, someone scribbled _Greetings from Transsexual, Transylvania._

"Well," Adam said, holding out the picture. Amy looked at the picture and laughed, unable to hold her giggles in.

"Matt and I were idiots," Amy said, snatching it, "If I remember correctly, you were just as stupid- if not more so- then us."

"Oh, that's so true." Adam remembered the antics that they got into; they had so much fun together. He was glad that the past was behind them, and that he and Matt could get into a bunch of other antics. Like the ice fight they got into at Chris' house. Things went to an abrupt halt when Chris slipped on an ice cube. Chris chased them until Matt locked himself in the bathroom and allowed Adam to fend for himself.

Or the time he, Matt, and Jay went to a beach in late November and jumped into the freezing cold water, declaring that whoever stood in the longest would get one hundred dollars from each person in the ocean. Poor Matt didn't stand a chance against the two Canadians, trained in the Canadian weather for colder times. And even though Jay was the eventual winner, they still had an incredible time.

Adam smiled at the memories and kept looking through the box, finally finding something that piqued his interest. It was a small booklet, hand made, with the words 'To Amy' written on the orange paper cover. He flipped through it and began laughing at the pages. Some were ripped out, but the ones that were left told him everything.

It was a coupon book- yes, a coupon book. The kind corny or cheap people gave their lover. And Amy had obviously already cashed a bunch in, but there were plenty left. One said "Good for one free meal from Matt Hardy", another said "Good for one free back massage from Matt Hardy"... and one surprisingly said "Good for one free Parcheesi game with Matt Hardy."

"You two are such dorks," Adam said, looking as the coupons got better and better. Obviously, Matt Hardy got more creative toward the end- there was one about caramel sauce that sounded very interesting, to say the least. "Kinky dorks, by the looks of it."

Amy looked over his shoulder and laughed. "Oh, that thing. I forgot I still had that." Amy shook her head. "It's stupid, I know, but it was really sweet. Plus, one of those coupons was "Good for a free bracelet from Matt Hardy". I milked that one for all it was worth." Amy reached out for the booklet, but Adam pulled it away.

"You plan on using these to ensnare our poor Matthew again?" Adam said, "Try to use your feminine wiles and Parcheesi to claim his heart?"

"Pfft. Like I need coupons to get him back." Adam looked at her, raising an eyebrow in confusion, and she laughed. "Oh no, don't get me wrong. I'm happier now that he and I are friends. Better this way for everyone involved."

"Lying siren."

"Why thank you," Amy said, putting a hand on her chest in false modesty. She went back in the box, looking for another item, and Adam slipped the coupon book into his pocket. Who knows, maybe he could have some fun with Matt Hardy.

* * *

It was one of those days. The days when the best thing to do was drink away the boredom and make jokes with no true value at all. But the power of the fart joke while intoxicated was almost staggering.

While drinking with his coworkers, Adam preferred to get drunk with people whose habits he knew. He heard enough horror stories to make this a rule- it only takes one time with the wrong drinker to get an eyeful of something one could never unsee- so he went out with the same crowd all the time.

Jay and Chris were in the middle of drinking themselves into a coma, matching each other shot for shot, while goading each other to slam down another spot. Mickie, Melina, Randy, John, and Matt were laughing uncontrollably, just enjoying each others' presence. And Adam was rejoining them, holding a few cold beers in his arms.

"YES!" Melina grinned, reaching for one of the beers. She took a sip and then John snatched the beer from his girlfriend, drinking a little. Adam passed out the rest and then took a seat next to Matt, smiling at all his friends.

"So, what are we talking about?" Adam asked.

" Your little romantic rendezvous with _Lita_," Randy said, making Lita sound like the dirtiest word in the English language.

"I helped her move boxes. Big deal." Adam shrugged. Randy and Mickie exchanged a glance, but then Mickie climbed into Randy's lap and started pushing against him in an imitation of sex.

"Oh... Adam... move my box!" Mickie moaned out.

"Amy... god Amy, I'm moving your box, oh Amy..."

Melina and John started laughing, and Adam said, "Ha ha. You two are hysterical."

Mickie turned around and smirked at Adam. "Well, some people think we are," she said, looking over at John and Melina.

"Whatever."

"Oh, don't listen to him Micks. He's just mad that he had to watch the action," Melina said, winking. More laughs followed, as if Melina just said the wittiest thing in the world, and the conversation turned to... well, fart jokes.

When the conversation was finally as far from possible from his visit with Amy, Adam struck. He slipped a piece of paper into Matt's pocket, watching the acute shock out of the corner of his eye. Matt's face turned expressionless for a moment, but then he rejoined the merriment as if nothing happened. But he knew that Matt would soon check to see what Adam slipped to him.

He could be patient.

John and Melina, probably the least drunk when midnight rolled around, were the ones who had to somehow get Chris and Jay to the car. Randy, Mickie, Matt, and Adam could hear the A-list couple grumbling loudly about dead weight, and they couldn't help but make fun of them. Mickie, her heels in her hands, was mimicking John, and Randy did a pretty good impression of Melina. It only felt appropriate that they switch gender roles for this one.

As Randy kept screeching like a banshee and Mickie kept up her air headed routine, Matt's hand went into his pocket and fished out the paper. He unfolded it and read "Good for one night with Matt Hardy." Matt stopped walking, staring at the handmade coupon.

Adam realized that Matt fell behind and he turned around, grinning when he noticed what was in Matt's hand. He watched Matt for a moment and said, "Is everything alright, Mr. Hardy?"

Matt looked up, taking in the grin on Adam's face. "How did you get this?"

"Does it matter?" Adam asked, although he could see that Matt was already mentally slapping himself for the question. Now, he was only wondering why Amy would keep such a thing. "What, you're not going to give me my coupon's worth? I feel robbed." Adam waited for Matt's response, wondering if Matt would really follow through on a coupon made over four years ago.

" Well, you do have a coupon," Matt said, his face unreadable. Adam wondered what was Matt thinking while he said it, but his features gave away nothing. "Should we stay in my room or yours?"

Adam let out a loud pfft. "Like I'm going to your room, Hardy." Matt nodded, going over to Mickie and Randy, passing Adam without so much as an acknowledgment. But it didn't matter; he had a whole book of coupons to use to mess with Matt. How far could he go with this?

* * *

Matt waited for a good few minutes before Adam decided to open the door. He wanted to make Matt think about all the things he could do to him with the book of coupons. Adam moved out of the way, motioning him in, and Matt walked inside. He plopped down on a chair and said, "Alright Copeland, you've got me here. What's the big idea?"

Adam didn't answer, instead moving to the bed, eyes never leaving Matt. He sat down and, smirking, he whipped the coupon book out of his pocket. Matt's eyes widened, seeing the whole book, and Adam scored himself another point. Adam flipped through the pages, not looking at them, just sending home how many coupons he actually had access to. Matt nodded, and he said, "What do you want, then?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Adam flipped through the book again, this time more slowly, taking the time to actually study the little scraps. "So many coupons, so little night. What to choose?"

There was a silence as Adam giddily looked at the pages. He looked back up at Matt, who had gone back to a stoic expression. Well, what coupon was best to pull that calm stoicism clear off of Matt's face?

Adam picked one of the coupons, deciding to start out running. He tore it carefully and then passed it to Matt. After a moment of silence, he said, "You have got to be kidding me."

"Nope." Adam pulled off his shoes, and then his socks. "So, are you going to hop to it or does the coupon have some kind of invisible expiration date?" Something Adam couldn't explain crossed Matt's face; but Adam forgot all about it as soon as Matt put the paper down and walked over to Adam, kneeling before him. The way the paper dropped, Adam could clearly read what it said.

"Good for one free foot rub from Matt Hardy."

Matt grabbed Adam's foot and began massaging it. Adam hammed up the fact that Matt was massaging him, making loud, almost ridiculous moans. Just as he began to enjoy it, he felt a sudden sharp sting on the back of his leg. He yelped, wishing he thought about the fact that Matt knew just how sensitive he was down there. Especially to being pinched.

"What the hell was that for?" Adam shouted, kicking him away. Matt laughed, quickly moving from the foot.

"Come on, Adam. Be serious. I was really going to do what you said because of a _piece of paper?_"

"I was hoping," Adam said, smiling. "It would've been fun to have you do whatever I said."

"Oh really?" Adam couldn't tell you how Matt got off his knees so quickly; next thing he knew, Matt was on top of him, having pounced him onto the bed. Matt smirked, taking in the surprised look on Adam's face. "I don't take orders. I give them."

Adam wriggled, trying to get out of under Matt's body, but Matt didn't let out. Adam didn't like being vulnerable; and it's not like Matt wasn't known to do some awful stuff in retaliation. "Look, I just wanted to have a little fun with you..."

"Maybe I want to have a little fun with you," Matt said, his eyebrow raising.

"You drunk?"

"As much as you are." That meant that he was nowhere near drunk; just a little buzzed. Adam froze as Matt's hand rested on his thigh, and then moved it's way up.

"What are you, some kind of freakin fruit?" Adam sneered, trying to keep some semblance of control over the situation.

Matt laughed, his hand stopping it's track at the seat of his pants. "Looks like _you_ are," Matt said, feeling Adam already harden under his hand. Adam didn't say anything, but it was sort of true- Adam wasn't completely gay. He was just into both men and women. It wasn't something he cared to advertise- his persona banked on that image he maintained of sleaze, and loose women enhanced the image- but he wasn't in denial about it either.

Matt's laugh filled his ears. "You know, I'm going to take this awkward pause from the big mouth himself as a yes." Matt got up, moving slowly away from Adam, who propped himself up on his elbows to see what Matt was doing. "And Adam? The answer's yes." He walked to the door, almost deciding he had his fun for the night, when he said, "Oh, if you ever work up the balls, feel free to use the coupons at the end of the book. Customer satisfaction guaranteed."

As Matt left, Adam grabbed the book, flipping to the back. Those were the dirtier ones, the ones that pretty much meant "Good for one free fucking from Matt Hardy." His eyes widened, realizing that the reason Matt came there, to his room, was because he expected Adam to use one of the ones in the back.

"You should've just said so, Mr. Hardy," Adam mused, wondering how long he should make Matt wait before he used those coupons.


End file.
